stand tall, little girl!
2004-11-08 @ 9:06 a.m.

this is the first time in my life that i've ever stopped to ask myself if i really know what i'm doing. michael came into town this weekend, and i saw him saturday night. i've missed my brother so much. he says that i should take next semester off, figure out my direction. i'm also thinking about dropping communications. that way i would have tuesdays and thursdays to work eight hour shifts and i could afford to have a normal weekend. the other night over dinner, my mom made this joke about how she could forgive me for being a starving artist because maybe when i was dead someone might publish some of my books. don't worry. i know she didn't mean it. the next moment she was making some noise about my first million. parents are like that. but the question is not how useful is this degree perceived by my friends and family. the question is, how many people can i help with words, how many wrongs can i write (SNAP), how tall can i stand up, on an english degree? the thing is, i don't want to drop out of school. mike and i were discussing this last night and we agreed that it doesn't make sense to drop out of school so i can figure out how to get back in, but should i undeclare? should i transfer? what am i going to do and how am i going to help people?!?!?!?! so mike told me a story about a man he knew, much older than i and totally completely lost in his direction. he went away on a missions trip to work with the impoverished and the oppressed and while away, he found his call in international law, because he wanted to help people, yet had no supernatural powers and... Hey! That's Me!

gauche_____drop_____gauche_____drop_____gauche_____