i swear i'll do my best to comply.
2004-12-31 @ 10:49 a.m.

it's just briana and i. we're in brocks apartment and i'm looking for my sunglasses. brocks apartment is not brocks apartment. it's on the left side of the hallway versus the right, and the proportions are different despite the order of the rooms remaining the same. his bed is still off to the left of the doorway. it's cleaner and smaller than brocks apartment. more like brad's apartment when he lived in that old hospital. i imagine brock coming home and trying to find somewhere to hide. when i think of hiding, i imagine brocks apartment as it truely is. briana is saying something and i hear the door open. in the dream his apartment is much closer to the front door. maybe three feet-ish and a small set of stairs. i go to the door to look out into the hallway and brock is there. suddenly there is another woman, familiar looking. brock puts his hand on her waist and kisses her cheek. this is unnatural in it's congeniality. brock moves to me to greet me and my body stiffens. i shrink away and find my voice in appeal. briana doesn't leave with me. i have so many bags. i find a way to wear a backpack and a shoulder bag and a purse all together and i put my sunglasses on. i walk, downtown. somehow brocks apartment seems to be near or around Eau Claire and i walk to kensington which actually looks a lot more like bridgeland. I find Casey at a BBQ. there are picnic tables everywhere and scenesters gorging themselves on chicken. all of the girls remind me of rachel small and casey is sitting with a pretty woman. they are obviously in love. i get really confused about the geography of it all. i also start to wonder what happened to briana and how i ended up at caseys bbq. i don't remember knowing casey was having a bbq. theres some jarbbled conversation and then i wake up because the radiator is banging.

gauche_____drop_____gauche_____drop_____gauche_____