what does it take to get a drink in this place?
2004-10-06 @ 10:33 a.m.

You, to me, are the strangest feeling. Sometimes I go so long - I do my laundry, I vacuum my apartment and on the longdays I do the responsible thing and abandon my life for a coffee shop where I do homework, because I'm a student. I get normal, nice - n adjectives. And sometimes, I'm so caught up in normal that I don't see you coming as I walk down the block. I was just renting videos - cheesy scary videos with our couple friends down the hall. I was just smiling and holding hands. I was just living in a paradigm of having moved on. I guess sometimes I just forget that no matter how much time passes - you're always going to be you, sitting in a bar, screaming profanities and I'm always going to be me - walking by, hating every phoneme you know how to make in my direction. I don't want to see you in the corner, arms raised, calling out my name. I don't want to be reminded that you exist. I just want to walk home with my friends, I want to turn on a made for tv horror film that we rented and I want us all to laugh together - I want back those years that you stole, and you cannot steal these still. I want to shake your shadow. I want immunity. I want the witness portection program - I want to go somewhere you will never find me. But there you are, six blocks from my house, making poison out of beer and shockwaves in the air and no matter how badly I want it, I realize - You are always going to exist. You are always going to be a reality to the world, and i'm always going to be me - walking by.

gauche_____drop_____gauche_____drop_____gauche_____