i watched the pole dance of the stars.
2005-05-15 @ 11:58 p.m.

something about summer sun gives me the energy to get everything done. grocery shopping, popsicle eating, livingroom dancing, church potlucks, coffee with good friends and chai lattes late at night in daryl and laurens new backyard. Today was a good day. Tomorrow - breakfast with pisha and scott at nellies and an afternoon anthropology class with my notebook and myself. it's funny how quickly and how drastically things change right under your nose. jessica is planning a return the to world of post secondary, in persuit of a degree in sociology. i can't imagine a better field for her mind. kevin is in toronto now, getting ready to partake also in post secondary riches. spencer is at most, a year away from finishing his degree completely. at most, a year away from another city, another university, another faculty. lauren and daryl are getting married this summer and by september will be in another corner of the world picking people up, saving lives, changing worlds. with so many people making up my merrygoround it spins faster and faster as we all make various changes in our lives. sometimes i can't believe i'm getting married. sometimes i can't believe i'm really here, on my own, kneedeep in the middle of my life. at this point, i suppose, life takes on a different meaning completely. here i am at quarter to twelve reading page after page of law school specifics. 3.0, volunteer experiance, lsat yadda yadda yadda. maybe england. maybe montreal. maybe australia, godforbid; planning out the next eight years of my life. two years of undergraduate work at UNO. four to five years of law school. one more year of masters work somewhere in europe. legal work somewhere, maybe with the UN, maybe with a small legal collective doing human rights work in some little no name country full of people who speak a language i don't. it makes you wonder what motivates you; why you want the things you do. generally speaking, tonight i'm really proud of everyone i know. a few months ago there was such despair, such concern and suddenly there's this immense peace. as if the whole world is waking up like hibernating bears in spring and there is a revitalized zest for life. the small colony of people in my heart are promising and beautiful. i am joyful.

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